Today
When life allows, I sit. Still. And listen for what is important today. To me. Maybe not to anyone else. But maybe.
‘Today’ might be misleading, though. These are not ‘thoughts for the day’. They are just what I wanted to write. Today.
Here are some. Just in case you might also be sitting. Still.
What is your purpose?
What are your dreams?
What are your values?
I love those questions. I revisit them regularly, as any committed stay-on-track person would. Just as often, I confess, they pop up like swivel-eyed, hand-waving gnomes determined to save me from big stupid decisions. And probably like you, I find them disarming artillery as a coach.
However, my all-time favourite questions are:
What do you really think?
What do you really want?
If it were entirely up to you, what would you do here?
What do you know now, that you are going to find out in a year?
And then there is the un-huggable-because-ruthless, use-with-caution culprit-finder:
What are you assuming that is stopping you?
And the thoroughly huggable:
If you knew…, how would you…?
For decades I’ve been perfectly happy with those six beautiful questions. They are worth three lifetimes at least.
Then I heard about this question:
What do you stand for?
A friend mentioned it. She said it came from a book by Paul Ingram. 1 It has become her favourite question. I can see why. It scoops up everything. Just try it.
You are at the checkout till, your basket loaded with sugar-packed this and that, “What do you stand for?” You are seething in an email exchange in which neither of you sees or hears the other, “What do you stand for?” You are screaming at your child, “What do you stand for?” You are presenting ChatGPT as your own writing, “What do you stand for?”
You re-shelve the sugar. You re-think the email. You breathe. You write.
Actually, maybe it is better to reverse that order. “What do you stand for?” Fill your basket. “What do you stand for?” Re-think the email. “What do you stand for?” Address your child. “What do you stand for?” Write your piece.
I think we might ask ourselves that question before we do anything.
What do I stand for?
Good question.
I first encountered these ideas in the 1970s in a body of work called “Values Clarification” by Sidney B. Simon, Howard Kirschenbaum, and Leland W. Howe. Their work was in turn based on the original body of thought by Louis Raths.
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