Today | Nancy Kline

Today

When life allows, I sit. Still. And listen for what is important today. To me. Maybe not to anyone else. But maybe.

‘Today’ might be misleading, though. These are not ‘thoughts for the day’. They are just what I wanted to write. Today.

Here are some. Just in case you might also be sitting. Still.

“I’ll just do this one thing first. It will take only a minute. It really will.”

So goes my daily dip into denial. And with it the vanishing of my intentions. Sara Hart 1 brilliantly calls this disappearance “but-firsts.”

Inevitably the first “but-first” leads to another and to another. “But-firsts” are like zygotes in that way. They contain their own proliferators. The first one instantly produces a vast population of others. They are like popcorn or chocolate – redoubtably irresistible.

So I have started to be wary of these charmers that sneak in as I set intentions. I am trying to get very good at recognising the beguilement of “but-firsts.” This entails revving up my “but-first” sensors the minute an intention forms. At that very second I look under the throws, on top of the planters, inside the game cupboard to catch and flick away the sign saying: Welcome To Zygote Land.

So far I am just a C- student at this expertise. But having started as a failure, I’m hopeful. I am getting better at spotting the pita bread halves of the zygote and banishing them. To label the zygote a “but-first” is a great start because once we name something, we can no longer deny it.

This piece is due to be published in January. January is officially the month for intentions, for goals. To my relief, years ago I gave up setting New Year’s goals. The private humiliation of defeat by February became too much. But there was a time when Christopher and I held a two-day workshop called, “Dreams and Goals.” The final segment, on New Year’s Day, asked each person to come to the front of the room and declare their dreams and goals for the year. Blessedly, there was no followup workshop called, “Did You Do Them?”

But if you set goals for 2026, I hope you also fine-tuned your “but-first” detector and have its zygote self squarely in your cross hairs. Humiliation, however private, is no way to live a year.

I’m sure Sara would agree.

1 Sara Hart: https://hartcom.com/sara-speaking/